não problematiza

06Jul09

The amazing thing is this: 90% of a woman’s emotional problems stem from feeling unloved. So don’t stand back and analyze her, like a doctor diagnosing a patient, or like a therapist questioning a client. Give her your love – the same love that is motivating your questioning – immediately and unmistakably. Walk over to her, look deeply into her eyes, hold her and stroke her,  tell her how much you love her, smile, hum her favorite song and dance with her, and chances are, her emotional problem will evaporate. She may still have some situation to deal with, and you may be able to help her with that, but the emotional aspect will be converted to love.

It is a very rare occasion when your analysis of her mood relieves her of it. Most often, your analysis and attempts to fix her will just piss her off more. Ask her if she would rather you gave her love or analyzed her when she is upset. It’s so easy to give her love; it’s what both of you really want anyway. But as a man you are more likely to try to fix her. That’s exactly not what she wants, and exactly what will make the situation worse, most of the time.

David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man

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2 Responses to “não problematiza”

  1. 1 Paula

    Finalmente. Finalmente alguém disse tudo. Porque por mais que a gente queira negar, é isso que a gente mais quer.

  2. não seria infinitamente mais simples assim?


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